We’ve all been there.
In the middle of sharing an exciting story or expressing an important point of view, when suddenly, you’re interrupted.
Someone cuts you off and takes over the conversation. It can feel frustrating, disrespectful, even hurtful.
Here’s a revelation.
Often, those who constantly interrupt or talk over others aren’t doing so out of malice.
In fact, they might not even realize they’re doing it. It’s more likely that they’re missing some key emotional skills.
Hold on a minute, though.
Before you start labelling everyone in your life who has a habit of interrupting as emotionally inept, remember this: we’re all human and we all have areas to grow and improve in, including learning how to navigate social interactions more effectively.
So, let’s delve into this.
Curious about what these emotional skills might be?
Stay with me as we explore the seven emotional skills often lacking in individuals who have a tendency to interrupt and speak over others.
And hey, if you recognize yourself in any of these points, don’t stress.
Self-awareness is the first step toward growth. The good news is that emotional skills can be learned and improved with practice.
So let’s get to it.
1) Empathy
Now, let’s talk about empathy.
It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s putting yourself in their shoes, feeling what they’re feeling.
Sound simple? Not quite.
Here’s the thing: empathy is often missing in those who constantly interrupt or talk over others.
They may not realize that their behavior is making others feel unheard or unimportant.
Remember, everyone wants to feel heard and valued. By cutting someone off, you’re essentially saying that your thoughts and opinions are more important than theirs.
That’s a surefire way to make someone feel belittled and disrespected.
So, what’s the solution?
Start by actively listening to others when they speak. Show that you value their thoughts and feelings.
If you catch yourself interrupting, apologize and encourage them to continue.
Remember, empathy is a skill. It takes time and practice to develop.
But once you do, you’ll find your interactions with others will become more meaningful and rewarding.
2) Patience
Patience, now that’s a big one.
Let me share something with you. I used to be quite an impatient person myself, especially in conversations.
The moment someone started talking, my mind would race with responses, counter-arguments, or related anecdotes.
Sound familiar?
Here’s what happened. I found myself interrupting others constantly because I simply couldn’t wait to share my thoughts.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but this impatience was essentially robbing others of their opportunity to express themselves fully.
One day, a close friend pointed this out to me. It stung, I won’t lie. But it was a wake-up call that I needed.
So, what did I do?
I made a conscious effort to practice patience. To wait for others to finish their thoughts before I jumped in with mine.
It was tough at first – like biting my tongue during a heated debate! But over time, it became easier.
And you know what?
My relationships improved as a result. Conversations felt more balanced and engaging.
People felt more comfortable opening up to me because they knew I was genuinely listening to them.
So, if you find yourself often interrupting others, take a step back and ask yourself: “Am I being patient enough?”
And remember, patience is like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.
3) Self-awareness
Self-awareness. It’s a tricky one.
Have you ever been in a conversation where you’re so absorbed in getting your point across that you don’t notice the subtle signs of irritation or discomfort from the other person?
I’ll confess.
I’ve been there. On the giving end and the receiving end. It’s uncomfortable, to say the least.
You see, lacking self-awareness is like driving with your eyes closed. You’re not seeing how your actions and behaviors affect others around you.
And in our context, it means not realizing that you’re interrupting or speaking over others.
But here’s a truth bomb.
Just because you’re not aware, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
So, start paying attention. Not just to what you’re saying, but how it’s being received.
Notice if someone’s facial expression changes when you interrupt them or if they withdraw from the conversation.
And if they tell you outright that you’ve interrupted them? Don’t get defensive.
Instead, take it as feedback. An opportunity for growth. Because recognizing a problem is the first step in fixing it.
And who knows? You might just find that by improving your self-awareness, you’ll become a better friend, family member, colleague, and overall person.
4) Respect
Let’s talk about respect.
You see, constantly interrupting or speaking over someone can be seen as a lack of respect for that person and their thoughts.
It’s like you’re implying that what they have to say isn’t valuable or worth listening to.
Ouch.
But here’s the silver lining.
Respect is a choice.
You can choose to show respect by letting others speak without interrupting them. By actively listening to what they have to say, and by responding thoughtfully, you convey that you value their viewpoint.
It doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them, but it does mean acknowledging their right to express their thoughts and opinions.
And guess what? When people feel respected, they are more likely to respect you in return.
And that’s the beginning of a healthy, two-way conversation.
5) Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence, ever heard of it?
It’s the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.
Why is this important?
Research shows that people with high emotional intelligence have better mental health, job performance, and leadership skills. They’re also more likely to have successful relationships.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
People who constantly interrupt or speak over others often lack emotional intelligence. They may not realize when their actions are causing discomfort or annoyance.
They may struggle to understand why others are reacting negatively to their interruptions.
The good news?
Emotional intelligence can be developed. It involves self-reflection, open-mindedness, and practice.
So if you find yourself interrupting others often, consider working on your emotional intelligence. The benefits will extend far beyond just improving your conversations.
6) Kindness
Now, let’s talk about kindness.
Kindness is often overlooked, yet it’s one of the most powerful tools we have in our emotional toolkit. It’s the ability to extend warmth and understanding to others, even if they’re different from us.
Interrupting or speaking over someone can be seen as a form of unkindness. It signals a lack of consideration for the other person’s feelings or thoughts.
But here’s a comforting thought.
We all have the capacity for kindness within us, even if we’ve been guilty of interrupting others in the past.
So, next time you’re in a conversation, try channeling that inner kindness. Let the other person speak.
Show genuine interest in what they’re saying. Acknowledge their thoughts and feelings.
These small acts of kindness can create a positive atmosphere in your conversations and strengthen your relationships.
After all, everyone appreciates being treated with kindness and respect.
7) Communication skills
At the heart of it all, interrupting and speaking over others often boils down to poor communication skills.
Good communication involves more than just conveying your own thoughts and ideas. It’s about listening, understanding, and responding appropriately to others.
So, if you’re constantly interrupting others in conversations, it might be a sign that you need to work on your communication skills.
But remember, nobody is perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you’re willing to learn and improve.
So, strive to be a better communicator. Listen more than you speak. Show respect for others’ opinions. Practice empathy.
It might take some time and effort, but the rewards – better relationships, improved self-esteem, and positive interactions with others – are worth it.
Wrapping it up
So you’ve recognized some traits in yourself that need tweaking. That’s okay. Self-awareness is the first step towards change.
Remember, we all have habits we’re not proud of. But it’s in acknowledging these habits that we begin to grow.
Now, if you’ve seen yourself in these points, don’t be disheartened. It’s not a life sentence. These aren’t inherent traits but learned behaviors. And anything learned can be unlearned.
Start by observing your conversations. Notice when you’re interrupting. Practice patience. Listen more than you speak.
Accept that every conversation doesn’t need to be won, and every silence doesn’t need to be filled.
It might feel challenging at first. But remember, change is a process, not an event.
Take one day at a time, one conversation at a time.
And celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory.
Over time, you’ll start seeing changes — in your relationships, in your conversations, in yourself.
And who knows? You might just find that by listening more, you learn more. You connect more. You grow more.
As the philosopher Epictetus wisely said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” So here’s to becoming a better listener, a better conversationalist, and ultimately, a better version of yourself.
