I’ve always been fascinated by those effortlessly charismatic individuals who seem to make everyone around them light up.
You know the ones I’m talking about – those who possess an uncanny knack for making others feel seen, appreciated, and genuinely listened to.
They’re not magicians or mind readers – they simply understand the subtle art of social intelligence.
Now, hold on a minute.
Before you start thinking “That’s just not me”, or “I’m not a people person”, let me offer a different perspective.
Social intelligence isn’t some exclusive club reserved only for the extroverts and the ‘life of the party’ types among us.
It’s a skill set that anyone can develop and refine, with just a little bit of practice.
So, if you’re curious about “What are these little things socially intelligent people do?”, stay tuned.
I’m about to share seven simple yet powerful habits that could transform your interactions, and help you make others feel truly seen and valued.
Remember, it’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about showcasing the best version of yourself to the world.
And in doing so, not only will you attract more meaningful connections, but you’ll also contribute to creating a more empathetic, understanding society – one interaction at a time.
1) They master the art of active listening
Here’s a little secret.
The most captivating communicators aren’t necessarily the best talkers; they’re the best listeners.
Socially intelligent people understand that every conversation is a two-way street and they respect this balance. They don’t monopolize the dialogue or steer it solely towards their interests.
Instead, they make a conscious effort to listen – really listen – to what the other person is saying.
But active listening is more than just hearing words.
It’s about paying attention to non-verbal cues, like body language and facial expressions. It’s about acknowledging the speaker’s feelings and offering empathetic responses.
And here’s the clincher – it’s about showing genuine interest in the person, not just the conversation.
By doing this, you’re not only showing respect for their thoughts and feelings, but you’re also sending a clear message: “I see you. I hear you. You matter.”
2) They use people’s names
There’s something incredibly powerful about hearing your own name.
It immediately grabs your attention, makes you feel recognized, and creates a personal connection. Socially intelligent people understand this and make a point to use people’s names when they talk to them.
Let me share a personal experience.
A few years back, I attended a networking event filled with unfamiliar faces. Amidst the sea of introductions, one individual stood out.
Not because he was particularly charismatic or outgoing, but because he made an effort to remember and use my name in our conversation.
Every time he addressed me by my name, I felt seen. It showed me that he was not only paying attention but also that he valued our interaction.
Ever since then, I’ve made it a point to consciously use people’s names in conversations. And let me tell you, it has made a world of difference in how I connect with others.
Remembering and using someone’s name might seem like a small gesture, but it can have a profound impact on making others feel acknowledged and valued.
3) They are present in the moment
In a world ruled by screens and constant notifications, being fully present can feel like a herculean task.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been guilty of this. Of nodding along in a conversation while my mind is elsewhere or scrolling through my phone while someone is talking to me.
But here’s what I’ve learned.
Nothing makes a person feel more invisible than when they’re sharing a piece of themselves only to be met with vacant nods and half-hearted “uh-huhs”.
Socially intelligent people resist this urge to multitask during conversations. They put away their phones, maintain eye contact, and give their undivided attention to the person they’re interacting with.
It’s not always easy. It takes effort to quieten the noise in our heads and focus on the here and now. But it’s worth it.
Because when you’re fully present, you’re not just hearing words or watching expressions. You’re experiencing the person, their emotions, their perspective.
And that’s when real connections are made.
4) They validate others’ feelings
We’ve all been there.
Feeling upset or overwhelmed, pouring our hearts out to a friend, only to have them dismiss our feelings with a curt “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that big of a deal”.
It’s frustrating and hurtful, isn’t it?
Socially intelligent people get it. They know that every person’s feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of whether they personally agree with them or not.
They don’t dismiss or belittle your emotions. Instead, they empathize with you, they validate your feelings, and they offer comfort and support.
They understand that you don’t always need advice or solutions. Sometimes, all you need is someone who says “I see how much this is affecting you, and I’m here for you.”
By doing so, they make others feel seen and understood – a gift that’s invaluable in any relationship.
5) They maintain positive body language
Body language is a powerful communicator, often speaking louder than words.
Socially intelligent people are aware of this silent dialogue. They maintain a positive and open body language that exudes approachability and warmth.
They lean in during conversations, maintain eye contact, and use non-threatening gestures. They mirror the other person’s body language subtly, which psychologists say can foster a deeper connection and understanding.
Interestingly, research shows that when we mimic someone’s posture or gestures, it can foster social bonding and connection. This kind of interaction may be linked to the release of oxytocin, also known as the “bonding hormone.”
This simple act can make the other person feel more at ease and accepted.
So, next time you’re in a conversation, take notice of your body language. Are your arms crossed? Are you leaning back? Small tweaks can make a big difference in how others perceive you and feel around you.
6) They offer genuine compliments
Compliments can be a powerful tool when used sincerely.
Socially intelligent people understand the art of giving authentic praise. They notice the little things about others and aren’t shy about expressing their admiration or appreciation.
It’s not about flattery or empty words, but about acknowledging others’ efforts, skills, or unique traits.
It’s about recognizing someone’s new haircut, their insightful comment in a meeting, or the way they handled a tough situation.
I’ve found giving a heartfelt compliment can not only make someone’s day but also strengthen the bond between us. It sends a clear message: “I see you. I value you.”
But remember, sincerity is key. People can tell when you’re being genuine and when you’re just trying to win brownie points.
So, give compliments from the heart and watch how it transforms your interactions.
7) They show kindness and respect to everyone
If there’s one thing that stands out about socially intelligent people, it’s their universal respect and kindness.
They understand that every person, regardless of their status or background, deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
They make an effort to be kind and considerate in all their interactions.
They show appreciation for the barista who makes their coffee, maintain polite conversation with the office janitor, and treat their colleagues with the same respect they would give their boss.
This behavior goes a long way in making others feel seen and valued. It sends a powerful message: “You matter, regardless of who you are or what you do.”
In the end, social intelligence boils down to treating others how you wish to be treated – with kindness, respect, and sincere attention. That’s how true connections are formed, bridges are built, and people are made to feel seen.
The takeaway
If you’ve been following along, you now have a deeper understanding of the behaviors that contribute to social intelligence.
But remember, this isn’t a checklist to be ticked off or a skill to be mastered overnight. It’s a journey of growth, self-awareness, and continuous learning.
Start by practicing one habit at a time. Maybe it’s using people’s names more often, or perhaps it’s becoming more present in your conversations.
Observe the changes in your interactions, in the responses of others, and most importantly, in how you perceive yourself.
There will be times when you falter, when old habits creep back in. That’s perfectly okay. Change takes time and patience.
The aim here is not to transform into a social butterfly or to win everyone over. It’s about fostering genuine connections, about making others feel seen and valued, and in turn, enriching your own social experiences.
So take a moment, reflect on these practices, and consider how integrating them into your interactions can create meaningful connections.
Remember, every conversation is an opportunity for growth. Every interaction is a chance to make someone feel seen. And every step forward is a step towards becoming a more socially intelligent version of you.
